Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Douglas Stone

By Douglas Stone

We try or stay away from tricky conversations each day-whether facing an underperforming worker, disagreeing with a wife, or negotiating with a consumer. From the Harvard Negotiation venture, the association that introduced you Getting to convinced, tricky Conversations presents a step by step method of having these tricky conversations with much less rigidity and extra good fortune. you will tips on how to:

• Decipher the underlying constitution of each tricky dialog
• begin a talk with out defensiveness
• hear for the that means of what's now not stated
• remain balanced within the face of assaults and accusations
• movement from emotion to efficient challenge fixing

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Like dealing with feelings, grappling with the Identity Conversation gets easier with the development of certain skills. Indeed, once you find your footing in the Identity Conversation, you can turn what is often a source of anxiety into a source of strength.

Let’s come back to Jack and Michael. There is no dispute about whether the graph is accurate or not. They both agree it is not. The dispute is over whether the error is worth worrying about and, if so, how to handle it. These are not questions of right and wrong, but questions of interpretation and judgment. Interpretations and judgments are important to explore. In contrast, the quest to determine who is right and who is wrong is a dead end. ” Conversation, moving away from the truth assumption frees us to shift our purpose from proving we are right to understanding the perceptions, interpretations, and values of both sides.

In part, it’s because you fear how the conversation will make you feel about yourself: “I’m not the kind of person who lets people down and crushes enthusiasm. ” Your self-image as a person who helps others get things done butts up against the reality that you are going to be saying no. If you’re no longer the hero, will people see you as the villain? Keeping Your Balance As you begin to sense the implications of the conversation for your self-image, you may begin to lose your balance. The eager young head of Creative, who reminds you so much of yourself at that age, looks disbelieving and betrayed.

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