Brilliant parent : what the best parents know, do and say by Emma Sargent

By Emma Sargent

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What is different for you? You may like to do this exercise every now and then to keep it fresh, adding to it or changing it as you wish. Not only is this exercise very good for keeping you focused on your goals, it can help you to feel more able to handle difficult situations. Every time you are in a situation that you might find difficult with your children, just imagine stepping into your giant beach ball. brilliant tips ● Remember that we are all ‘work in progress’ and always learning. ● Revisit the ‘you today’ exercise and notice what changes you have made.

I find it quite difficult in these moments to stay calm and, frankly, grown-up. I am well aware that they are testing boundaries with me because they know that they are safe to do so, but in that moment I just don’t like it. Day-to-day stuff gets in the way, too. We may be very busy with work or tired, and therefore short-tempered. We may be worried about something and the children think we are worried about them. Children do not respond well to anxiety from a parent; it makes them feel very wobbly indeed.

It will take about 10 to 15 minutes. Imagine that you have a huge transparent beach ball in front of you that is big enough for you to step inside. Now imagine that you are placing all the qualities, skills and emotions that you wrote down in the ‘you tomorrow’ exercise inside that beach ball. Really project them into the ball and fill it up with them. QXP:M02_SARG4933_01_SE_C02 22/5/09 14:49 Page 27 Starting with you you and breathe them in. Walk around in your imaginary beach ball for a few minutes.

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