Beta Male by Iain Hollingshead

By Iain Hollingshead

Are your carefree twenties a backing out reminiscence? Are your occupation customers lamentable? Are your folks discussing confetti and fixed-rate mortgages whenever you hold on your X-Box, sobbing? you're not by myself. Sam Hunt faces as much as the massive three-o, and starts to believe that it could simply be the start of the top.

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If the runner spills any beer on the ground or floor (it helps to have a referee), he must stop immediately and chug one beer. I suggest using a normal cup of beer and not the big stein they give you at Oktoberfest. NOTE: In Germany everything is big: the beer, the pretzels, and the aspirations for global domination. Then he continues the run. After the hand-off Alcohol Athlete 2 runs to hand off to Alcohol Athlete 3, who runs toward the finish line! This game can, of course, work with more or less runners so long as each team has the same number of Alcohol Athletes.

The jockey must hold a can of beer while riding. If the jockey falls off the horse, the horse must immediately stop and wait for the jockey to remount. The first team to cross the finish line is the winner. The losers must neigh like angry horses and chug a beer. Ya know, being a jockey isn’t easy. Consider how difficult it is for him to find a beautiful and intelligent maiden to marry. He’s barely five feet tall, and his career is spent staring at the rear end of the horse in front of him. Poor guy.

The loser must stick his face near the can of beer, and the winner then shakes it and opens it, squirting the loser with the snatch. Then the loser must chug the beer! After I chug a few beers I’m really good with girls. For instance, I knew this girl liked me because, as I talked to her, she kept looking at her watch! That’s right, baby, time flies when you’re having fun! THE SH*TFACED GAMES 50 Shtfaced Games interior mech3_Layout 1 8/23/13 11:02 AM Page 51 Shtfaced Games interior mech3_Layout 1 8/23/13 10:12 AM Page 52 GAME 15 Laughter Is the Best Medicine, and by Medicine, I Mean Beer You know what sport makes me laugh?

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